Sunday, 11 November 2012

Seven ways to know..for the ladies.

I will begin by saying I’m no expert on these issues, in fact I didn’t think  there would come a day when I would write about something like this, something so mooshy and already over explored but alas!! You have probably been given a million tips already, but who am I not to contribute afew of my own here are some of the key red lights that I think you should not over look.

1. No routine
As much as I hate monotony, one is always safest with the basics when it comes to relationships. So if your boo is always saying things like ‘lets be spontaneous’ or ‘how about we just see how it goes’ as a way of getting out of making plans with you, whether it be to a movie, dinner or even an evening walk, beware. You never do anything normal couples do because its ‘too common’ or ‘that’s what everyone does’, you should be worried.

2. Always saying goodbye
Your first response to any problem is to walk away from it all. Even if he says it first, you were already thinking it anyway. Bad sign. One of the key factors of a long lasting relationship is if you can at least stay with each other in the tough times, let alone work through them.

3. Never sees you
Distance makes the heart grow fonder, NOT!!! If you are into someone and vice versa, you will think up each and any excuse to see them, even if only for a few minutes. So if you only see each other once a month, or you are always the one suggesting the meet-ups, check yourself before you wreck yourself!!!

4. Never talks about the future
It’s been three years and not even once has your so-called better-half mentioned  or included you in their future plans. And when they do, it’s very vague and your input is never required. Here’s a possible reason why: you’re not in them!!

5. No waterworks.
And this is one from personal experience(probably because this mostly applies to the ladies). For some reason, even after a fight or break-up scare, you can’t bring yourself to cry over him anymore. You want to cry, in fact you try to cry, the feeling is right there in your chest, but the tears refuse to come. REFUSE!!!

6. No show.
He is just never there when he says he will be there. He never keeps his promises, he never delivers what is required of him, doesn’t show up when he says he will, he somehow always doesn’t EXIST when you need him.

7. Semi climax.
The relationship is a constant semi-climax. Even the good times are lacking something, and try as you might to act like it’s all ok, the nagging thought is starring at you wide-eyed from the back of your head. Your whole life becomes a case of waiting for something even more exciting to happen so that maybe, maybe, you will feel the fiery overwhelming sense of happiness and completion you once used to feel.

You’re not making each other better in any way. Maybe you should consider counting your losses?

Saturday, 3 November 2012


“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.”

In spite of what men like to think, women run the world. But most importantly, they run the most basic and yet crucial unit in the universe. The family.  It is your wife(or whatever variations of that have come up in the last few centuries) that determines what you wear, what you eat, what your house looks like, what kind of house you do get, the rules in your home, and last but most certainly not least, how your children are raised.

So I’m sure we all want to believe that we will be good fathers and we will spend lots of time with our kids and have a huge part in their upbringing and generally be the kind of dad that Is the envy of all children in the neighborhood. That’s all good and we appreciate the thought, but let’s be realistic. How many of the good men we know actually get to do this when they are so busy looking for bigger, better and faster ways to provide for their families?

Which brings me to my point. The kind of wife you marry is exactly the kind of children you will have. Because whether we like it or not, they are the ones that mould your children. So do you want outspoken children? Then get yourself a girl that speaks her mind like it’s the gospel. Do you want respectful obedient children? Then look at how your current boo treats her elders and you. Do you want God fearing children? Then you know what to do. Because miracles do not happen quite as often as we want them to, and no way in this life time is darkness going to give birth to light!!

Friday, 2 November 2012


In life, there are two kinds of people. Givers and takers .And every once  in a while, the takers will go out of their way to be givers to people that are special in their life or mean a lot to them.
All my life, I’ve been a giver. I’m always going out of my way to make sure everyone that I care about Is happy, always giving my time and services and whatever, always doing for others.

The other day, I talked to one of my classmates. I do not necessarily consider my classmates my friends because of the huge difference in character and interests and many other things. But when I called this particular girl called Molly who is the closest I can come to calling a friend in that class, I was pleasantly surprised and moved to tears. She had gone out of her way to do something for me that I hadn't even asked her to do. Almost the equivalent of going to the registrar, doing all your registration for you, getting you a room in hall and collecting the semester’s work for you(and we all know how long this process takes).

Now I need you to understand that this girl owes me nothing and vice versa. Forget those guys that are being extra nice because they want to date you, or sleep with you, or show off to the world that they are nice, or need some kind of help somewhere. Forget those. This was a selfless act, where the doer was going to gain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And when I asked Molly why she did what she did, she said “I know you Kullein, you were going to take forever to get it done so I did it for you”. Simple as that.  I was completely and totally moved by this simple act and I wondered if this is not what true friendships and relationships should be about, people always looking out for each other, a two-way street?? About someone not waiting to be asked to do something that they CAN do that is good for you? Even if they themselves will not gain any form doing it? Most of my friendships I now realize are all about me giving something and because I’m such a giver, I never thought that I should be getting something back too. And since molly did what she did, I have been re evaluating my friendships.

So to all you giving friends/lovers/family members out there(not you the takers!!!), the next time you go around giving someone your time, advice, money, shoulder to cry on, food,help, mention it, think of the last time that person did the same for you? And ask yourself the question, if the situation was reversed, would they do the same for you??

Then you will know how many people really are your friends.