Thursday, 12 September 2013


Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I got to gently lay my hand on the tummy of a pregnant lady and feel her baby move…

It was such a profound moment, knowing that there was a life in there, waiting to be brought into this world, shaped and molded and made into just about anything... You would probably think it’s because I haven’t had children of my own that I am still so deeply moved by this small event, but it’s for this same reason that my awe should be not taken lightly. Because sometimes after you have had a few children of your own, and have been worn out by the never-ending duties that come with motherhood, you forget to fully appreciate what it is that really happened. You need someone to take you back to those days way back, when you didn’t take it for granted…

As a woman, you have been blessed with the huge responsibility of bringing a life into this world; A LIFE! The one thing that all the geniuses and professors of science in all its advancement have still not been able to replicate is growing inside you. You get to take part in creation, and then you get to decide which paint colors and tones will be used on this empty canvas, and what the picture will look like at the end of it all. This child could be the next Mandela, or Mohamed Ali, or Abraham, or Moses; they could change the world, and you get to carry them for nine months and then bring them into the world…so don’t call me na├»ve if I still find it magnanimous when I feel a child kick, or when I cry at every birth, or when I stare at a random child for a tad bit too long. Because in that brief moment, I see what they were, what they could be, and how in just this second, using this incomplete canvas, with just one stroke of my paint brush, I could change the world forever.

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

LIGHT BULB MOMENTS; Four shortcuts to caring less!

I looked up a solution to excess feelings just the other day. I thought, ‘If we can clone a human being, surely, we can suppress a few out-of-balance hormones in the body, heck, we can eliminate them completely if we decided’… I suffer from a condition called Care-too-much/Trust-too-much/Love-too-much-iasis. It’s a condition where you don’t know how to do things half-heartedly. When you are in, you are all in. Apparently, you can’t survive in the world today if you suffer from this condition. You need to know how to sit on some of these feelings or else your little arse will be dragged in the mud from here to Kingdom come…

At first I didn’t believe it, but in just the last two months, I’ve seen Angels turn to red horned devils, outright malice from those you thought were your people, those who promised to always be there for you leave for good, and altogether more tears than I saw in the whole of last year combined. Now, usually I’m a happy-go-lucky optimistic person, but even I couldn’t get above it on my own this time, and since it looked like I couldn’t effectively sit on these feelings, I thought I’d get some help. 

You would be pleasantly surprised at some of the suggestions/ solutions that are out there: a large variety of resources from books to dissertations to case-studies and even video blogs on the topic! People are really tired of feeling…makes sense really-if you don’t care, it can’t hurt you. You would probably also be surprised by the number of people that suffer from this condition. But fret not, oh friends with similar ailments, for I bring great news of good tidings. Yes, there is a solution. I’m not 100% certain it will work; if I was I’d be charging for it...

After endless trips to all sorts of information sources, from websites promising to ‘make you a whole new person in just one night with our Hormone-Suppressing mattresses’, to those that suggested absurd extreme pharmaceutical solutions, I have gone out of my way to sieve out the useless and categorize the remaining to give you a summarized version of it all (because I’m only on my way to recovery from this condition, not all the way there).

Solution 1; be selfish
Yes. It’s all about me, me, and ME! Remember how you used up your whole salary to make that surprise party for your boyfriend’s birthday? Or how you went without sleep for hours because you were trying to stay up and watch your best friend’s first day at work as a TV presenter? What about that time you gave your sister your ticket to that band because she would not be around when they next came to your town and you would? And that time you missed the season finale of the Championship helping your boss beat a deadline? Well my friend, I have one word for you: stop. Enough with all that mush, you come first. You should never have to give up what you want for somebody else to get what they want. At the end of it all, you’ll die your own death so live your own life.

Solution 2: no sin goes unpunished.
Enough with trying to fix everyone’s problems. Everybody comes to you in a crisis because they know you are reliable and will go the extra mile to help them. Not only that, you are quick to forgive and forget all the funny things done to you. Because you are just nice like that. And you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Bullocks. If they hurt you, they should pay. In pound sterling!  Because you are not a walk-over and you hurt like everyone else.  Be firm and be aggressive. Unless it’s the Pope or a dear relative on their death-bed, no one gets a get-out-of-jail-free card. And for Pitt’s sake; let people clean up their own messes!

Solution 3; support group.
Now this might sound a little extreme I know seeing as solution #1 and #2 can be quite effective all on their own, but you know how we are. After a while, you will start to feel guilty and remorseful and want to make things right: don’t. Instead, join a support group or AA or whatever. People who are just like you and understand what you are going through, and will give you the constant push you will need to religiously carry out #1 and #2. If there are no support groups in your area, get in touch with me and I’ll hook you up.

Solution 4: allow it.
Last but most definitely not least, disregard solutions 1 through 3. You are who you are, and apart from the very obvious reason that we are an endangered species, there is a reason why you were made this way. So keep doing what comes naturally to you because in due time, you will reap your reward (Galatians 6:9). To be honest, it’s never that serious. If the people around you don’t appreciate who you are, find those that do or a way around it. Life has a way of surprising everyone, so don’t stop believing.
(Well, either that or I can send you the link for the Feel-No-More Herbal Tea website!)