Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Journal from the past; You're okay!

Nothing in life is a coincidence. I believe that everything happens at a particular time for a reason; you just have to be sensitive enough not to miss the purpose and whatever life is trying to impact on you.

Just this week, my sister decided to do some re-organisation of the bookshelf at home. The most interesting article she found(at least to me) was this journal I kept from 2012.It's deep blue in color with each page divided to cover three-four days. It's branded because it's one of those company diaries. You can tell from the worn edges that it was well used. Most of the pages are pretty full; I clearly had a lot to say. Most probably, I just had a lot of time on my hands.





After my sister handed me the diary, it lay on my bedside table for a few days. Just yesterday, while I was lounging around, I saw it and thought, "Why not?" So I opened the first page and begun to read. Most of it was pretty dramatic, I was a dreamer and I saw the world in HD/full color. I was young, without experience and with such an appetite for life. I was hungry to do, do, do!! I had such high expectations from myself, my loved ones and life. I had seen nothing!!! On one of the first pages one of my statements caught my eye....






"I wish I could fast forward to five years from now and see what happens then. Or just to skip this part anyway. Living one day at a time sucks".

Guess what, It's almost exactly five years from the day I wrote that. And I want to reach out to me five years ago and just give her a long, tight and warm hug. If I could talk to the Kullein of 2012 (insert some time-travel stunt from any movie), here's what I'd say...

Enjoy that phase
It probably feels like it's dragging but you'll miss it, at least parts of it. You will one day look back fondly at that time and laugh at how simple it all was...

Slow down
Pace yourself. Don't be skipping any parts and trying to look for shortcuts. I know you're trying to get to a place people took 2 years to get to in 2 months. It's not a bad thing. Just try be present; fully feel and enjoy where you are NOW.

You're on schedule
You're doing better than you or anyone else ever thought you would be doing at this point. You've gone over and beyond and will bag some remarkable achievements. You have a great support system; you're in love with an angel, your friends are loyal and your family has never been closer.

Don't stop dreaming
Never lose your hunger and appetite for life. Don't ever feel like it's a disadvantage because it's not something everyone has. It might get you into sticky situations some times, but you will live a full life.The future is so much better than you can see right now.

Ease up on yourself
Give yourself a break. Give your loved ones a break. It's not as serious as you think it is, and yes, you will recover from the mistakes. You will learn so much that you'll even shock yourself. If you could see yourself five years from now, you'd be so proud of you. You're on the right track,

You're not fat!!!
I probably can't convince you about this no matter what I say but just for the record, it's true.

Last but not least, don't quit on the journals
Look at how handy this one came in. I know at some point in the future you will give it all a break, but do resume when you can.


There's no such thing as coincidence. This diary re-appearing in my life at this exact time is no coincidence. It's God's way of saying, 'Hey, you're okay'. He is saying 'I still got you'.