Monday, 23 December 2013
Saturday, 21 December 2013
I have grown up so much this year. In just the final half of 2013,I learnt more about life than I have in all my years put together. They say that there is that one thing that happens to you,Event X,that divides your life into the time before it,and the time after it. I had my event x this year,atleast I think I did...
If I had to wrap up all my life's lessons into one,it'd be this;dont expect anything from anyone. Expectation is the mother of all dissappointment. Whenever you're making a plan to do something,especially something that is for your own benefit,be sure you don't assume someone else will be willing or available to help. Infact its safer to assume everyone has their own crap to deal with. That way,you're not shocked or let down when no one actually comes through and you can be really grateful if someone does. I had one of the best birthdays of my life this year with almost a whole week of celebration. After my Event X,I really wasn't going to leave my birthday plans in anyone's uncertain hands. So I set about preparing for it myself,and deciding on a course of action. While I'm grateful that the Lord blessed my plans,I was also overwhelmed by how people went out of their way to make sure my day was special. Those who wouldn't make it on the D-day utilised the other days of the week and those that were not around found a way to send their gifts across continents and those who couldn't do either of those did something else. I honestly didn't expect any of it and somehow I think this increased my appreciation for every little thing that was done. I felt quite loved and re-assured.
This year has been a long one everyone can agree,in more ways than one. There have been many times when I doubted myself,my beliefs,my principles,my dreams,my methods and my life altogether,times when I wondered if I wasn't just in denial and running out of time to wake up and smell the mocca! In one of my previous posts I talked about how I didn't really know what I was looking for;well not anymore because now I do. I can confidently tell you now that those times came,but those times passed. I'm more determined, more sure, more passionate, more aggressive and more daring. I've got the confidence of a Queen and the bravado of a lion. Right now, you'd have to kill me first before I ever compromise about my beliefs or give up on my dreams! I pray that I,and everyone else will go through 2014 with the same zeal and oomf I have right now :)
PICS FROM THE BIRTHDAY WEEK...
Monday, 16 December 2013
Most people think that the part of losing someone that hurts the most is that moment they take their last breath or the time when the coffin disappears into the ground. Well,most people are wrong in that regard. Somehow the hustle and bustle and endless planning and organising distracts you from the realness of it all;it keeps you just alittle busy and occupied enough to not think about it all too much. That time passes by faster than you'd imagine and it feels like you're moving in slow motion while the world is in fast forward...
Its the time when all is said and done that the roles are reversed;this is the part that hurts the most,more than you ever thought possible. That time when everyone goes back to their homes and things go back to their usual pace and life starts to go on and you're expected to adjust;that time sucks big ones! You're thinking,'ok,what now? What comes next?' How are you supposed to do that,to act normal? How are you supposed to act like there's nothing missing and yet you know for a fact something is not there now that was there before? Picture this;there was a huge tree that you used to shade yourself from the midday sun everyday on your way back from the well. After some time,it became more than just a tree to you,it became a place you got together to reunite and share secrets and receive sound advice with the other village girls. It became special to all of you.
Suddenly it was taken out by the roots. A fuss was made for a bit and the village members sympathised for a while with you. Then each one slowly returned to their many responsibilities and concerns. And you were left to still pass by that place where once your tree stood tall,and is now nothing but a huge ragged hole in the earth to show where the roots burrowed into the earth. You are still expected to go to the well by the same route,you're also expected to sit in the same place and continue with all the activities that you used to carry out under your tree,you're expected to act like this is all part of life and you accept it,you're expected to be strong and keep going on like everything is normal,still the way it was and there isn't a special tree that's gone!
That,my friends is the hardest part. Watching the sun continue to rise and set and the world go on with life as usual,as though your whole universe didn't just get shattered and turned upside down can drain even the strongest of us.So while everyone is grateful for all the support during the peak of the storm,more priceless than anything is the moral support that continues to be given at the end of the day when everyone is gone. Will you be the one that comes back to give it? I hope I will.
Friday, 13 December 2013
We had our own memorial service for you at our church today. It wasn't as bad as i expected. i must apologize for being so embarrassingly late but I was still in time to listen to all the speeches. I did try to be a bigger part of it all mind you,but to no avail. And though the pews were rather empty by the time I got there,they were quite filled up at our time to leave. Needless to say,the crowd was made up of all kinds of high-ranking people, from the Archbishop to the Vice President of our country, Ambassadors, Ministers, Members of Parliament, High Commissioners, Members of the Judiciary,Pan-African representatives, Speakers of the Senate and then people like me.
I was afraid it would turn political,and it did for a bit;there was a point where the Kenyan High-Commissioner said something about how when you got to heaven and were asked about what was going on down here,you said you weren't too pleased...and there was also a bit of tension when the South-African High-Commissioner who was among the last speakers lamented about how there was some acrimony over the proceedings of proper last respects to you,between the Parliament of Uganda and the South-African High-Commission,and how it was only in Uganda that this had happened,and also how it was disrespectful of your memory because it was the opposite of everything you stood for;this was worsened by the Prime minister trying to defend the Parliament and the Government in general but later ironed out by the Vice-President who in a few words reminded us of why we were really there. There were tributes from all sorts of groups and organisation but the most moving was that of a little girl no more than six years that gave an address on behalf of the children of Uganda,her speech had us all in tears by the end.
I never got to meet you Mr. Mandela.Meeting you was always on my bucket list,but because I was not yet important enough to actually be allowed to,I figured I would work hard at it and maybe in about four or five years I would be important enough to...somehow the fact that you might be dead didn't even cross my mind.
I intended to ask you this if I had finally got to meet you;what happened on that island? You went in a bitter and angry youth who couldn't wait for the day he got his vengeance and came out a calm forgiving man. What happened in those twenty seven years?Was it a gradual change or was it an epiphany? Was this epiphany at the beginning,in the middle or at the end of your time in prison? Did you really feel no more hate and bitterness for all those that were not quite nice to you or was it a daily struggle for you like it is for us to consciously choose to love and forgive them?Did this change have anything to do with Jesus? You were quite careful to avoid the subject but I sure do hope it did because if if didn't, then it would all be for nothing.I guess i'll have to wait to get to heaven to ask you that.
I personally admired you, Mr. Mandela. Some friends of mine say you are over-rated but then again ignorance is bliss. You were a mystery and one of us at the same time,needless to say,you continue to inspire a lot of people with the way you lived and this is what made you stand out from the likes of Steve Jobs and Abraham Lincoln and other great people in history. You put your heart into it. You practiced what you preached,and showed us that we have huge potential to do good in us,if only we try.One of the speakers at todays service called you a 'secular saint'...The one thing I guess that stood out for me about you is never forgetting who you are. All the power and fortune and fame never affected your humility and you recognized and embraced your weaknesses,limits and shortcomings. It's something that i'm still working on up to date and will probably continue to work on for a bit of time. It's because of examples like you Mr. Mandela though,that I will not give up till I have achieved my goals.
You will be greatly missed and forever remembered by all.
Rest in Peace Mr. Mandela.
Pictorial from the memorial service held at All-saints Cathedral,Nakasero,Kampala,Uganda.