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Showing posts from 2018

Being a cool mum: Seven things I’m doing to prepare for ‘cool’ motherhood

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I have GOT to be besties with my children! I’m thinking the boys will be closer to their father but we’ll still be close. My daughter(s) on the other hand, ‘tebampona!’ which simply means that battle was lost before it was even started. 
The truth is I don’t want to be a cool mum just for the sake of it. I want my children to trust me, to trust that I will always have their best interests at heart, and to value my opinion from a young age. I won’t know everything, but experience will have taught me enough to guide them through life as they grow into independent wholesome adults. The world as it is right now scares me. The number of trends and changing belief systems make me wonder what our children will have to face. Every single thing that makes me who I am has been turned into another battle ground for human rights. 
The number of influences and pressures pushing and pulling on each individual are enough to make you want to go into hiding. Just imagine your daughter or son running …

The abuse culture in Ugandan employment

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If you lived in a desert, a place where finding a liter of water is the equivalent of finding a tonne of gold, you would probably look at water differently from someone that lives by the lake. Your tolerance for algae, pebbles or even mud in your water would be much higher than the one who knows all they have to do is walk three meters to find it. This is the same way the employment culture is in Uganda. I’m not talking about the one percent whose parents own firms and businesses so they are guaranteed employment no matter what. Neither am I talking about the other one percent who through relatives in influential positions are able to jump to the front of any application process. I’m also not referring to the law of the jungle where the strong survive and the weak are destroyed. I’m talking about the remaining majority, the ordinary Ugandan who, after struggling through an average of sixteen years of school, an unpaid internship, one or two voluntary positions, and most probably a fe…

I see you

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"To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting." E. E. Cummings





All the boys told her she was beautiful. She believed it sometimes more than other times, but never to the extent they claimed. If she was so beautiful, why was she always alone? Why wasn’t she able to hold down a relationship for more than months? Why didn’t she like what she saw in the mirror? It’s not like she was ugly, it’s just that there had to be something she had less of than the other girls. Her nose could use a little nipping here and there and it wouldn’t hurt if she dropped a few pounds.Sean had left her for a girl with longer hair and a dimpled smile in her light-skinned complexion. If she was all that, why didn’t she feel that way? 
There had to be something wrong with her. The most rational thing she can do is take whatever is given to her; she really wasn’t in a position to be p…

Philosophy, darkness and wine...

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I’m a silhouette in the dark. Holding a short stem glass of wine in my right hand, head still turned towards the direction where the sun set hours ago. I wonder often about the smaller things in life: the devil is in the details after all. 
But mostly I wonder about the bigger things.
God.The billions of galaxies. Wealth. True Love. Destiny. Good and Evil. Justice. Karma. Creation. Purpose.


Every twenty minutes or so, I remember to take a small sip of the sweet red wine, shake my head maybe and sigh a little. It’s all such a web. Many might call it philosophy. They wonder where I get all these theories. I just want a formula. Something that will make it all make sense.
I switch legs, move the right leg that’s been crossed over the left and instead cross the left over the right. The glass moves from the right hand to the left. Another quick and inconspicuous shake of the head. Another quick sigh. In the quiet still of the darkness, I can see inside my head almost as if it were a tr…

I made it

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It's his graduation day. 
You would not believe the odds he has had to overcome to get here. 


All these people looking at him and cheering on as he walks to the podium to receive his certificate only see the new black robe with a Maroon sash. They only see his wide smile, fresh haircut and designer shoes. He walks with his head slightly tilted to one side, as if studying the situation. Although the smile barely shows any teeth, it goes straight to his eyes.
He made it. Atwooki has made it.
All the statistics said he wouldn't make it. Everyone back home said he would never get far. Heck; his own mother said he would never amount to anything. And after a while, he had come to believe he never would.
When the result slip for his Primary Leaving Examinations showed he had barely passed, no one was surprised. He had hung his head low and accepted the hoe that his mother had handed him. His school days were over, she had said. There was no point in paying for his school anymore with he…

High School memoirs

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This is a true story.

I remember the day she walked into my life. It was a quiet sunny day in school, and I was skipping class. New students were still reporting so the dormitories were left open all day. It was my first time in a new school and already the monotony of every day routine promised a dull gray three months ahead. Being the first few days, most of us were still feeling out the place, seeing who was who, and weighing our social options. Mine didn’t look promising. I had already resigned myself to counting down the days until I was back home. Just as I started to head back to class, she walked into the dormitory.


She was late, fashionably late as I would come to learn, but she walked in like she already knew exactly what to do. As fate would have it, we were in the same class.I have tried to define that look on her face when I first saw her for years, but the word has eluded me. Until now. Mischief. That’s the look she had in her eyes. There was excitement and trouble and…

The kind of girl you like

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I see it in the way your eyes avoid mine: your pursed lips and poorly-concealed emotion, All the questions that go unanswered, the judgment in each pause, The unspoken expectations and passive aggressiveness You would never say it to my face but I can smell it on you like garlic on breath. You wish I was softer around the edges You prefer if I didn’t speak so loud If only I walked slightly behind you and not next to You wish I wasn’t so ambitious because women should know their place My clothes should be more flowery and slightly longer. I shouldn’t look you directly in the eye or question what you say so often If only I kept my opinions to myself. You wish I didn’t have so many friends and didn’t get invited to so many parties You prefer I wasn’t so confident; no woman should be so whole, We all need a certain level of brokenness. It keeps us humble, shows us our position in the grand scheme of things I see it in your posture; the way you seat facing away from me I can read you like…

Oh be careful little eyes

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I try to steer clear of writing about trending topics.Actually not try to, I usually run as far away as I can from any current debates. This is because I’m never on one side long before I learn something new and then switch to the other side. Also because there will always be a smart ass (or two) that has done much more research than you have and is not shy about dragging your meager facts in the dust. Then there’s always the activist demanding to know why you are hiding behind the computer instead of going out into the streets to do something about it.

However…
A recent trending topic has caught my attention.
#MenAreTrash
Probably not in the way you’re thinking. Apparently, this is a movement that started in South Africa to raise awareness about the violence (physical, emotional, psychological etc) suffered by women at the hands of men. Over the past week in Twitterville Uganda, we have seen this hash-tag generate a good amount of support and an opposing side rise up to defend these …

A re-post: Five pieces of advice I’m happy I didn’t take

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"Everything in moderation, including moderation." Oscar Wilde



All my life I’ve been surrounded with people trying to give me their two cents. Most of them had good intentions but some of them didn’t. Some was solicited advice and some not. As a young girl, you generally tend to listen to those that seem older, wiser and like they’ve been there. It took a whole lot of years and growth to realize that not all advice is to be taken at face value. It took lots and lots of mistakes to know that it won’t always turn out for you like it did for the one advising you, and it took a whole lot of confidence to know that all advice is to be put into consideration but not all of it is to be acted upon. I have found that for me and the specific set up that is my life, most of the advice given works better with a slight twist.
If I had to group all the advice I’ve been given over the years that I’m happy I didn’t take into five categories, it’d fall under the following;
1)Better the devil …

#Forevermood

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"When all the chips are down, I will always be around...Just to be right there where you are my love".
Something about this video; that brief instrumental at the intro of the song as Whitney smiles takes me back to a time when I was maybe ten or eleven. You have to be an old soul to appreciate it.



Picture yourself in those woods, let's say they are woods surrounding a little cottage and you're out for a stroll. It's winter but you're really warm (thanks in part to the warm feeling in your chest but also to the fabulous coat you have on). There's Christmas lights running up and down the trees. There's Violin and Piano  music playing in the background. You're away from all the hustle and bustle of the city. You believe in miracles and dreams coming true. You're in love and for that brief moment, everything is as it should be.







How Kullein got her groove back; starting over for the 99th time

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‘Does it really count as starting over if you’re doing it for the nth time?’
‘Isn’t that more of a re-arrangement than an overhaul?’
‘Does it have to be an overhaul to count as a start-over?’
All these questions run through my mind as I look through red-rimmed eyelids at the grey wooden toilet door. I’ve been seated in this stall for about almost an hour hoping that I will finally compose myself long enough to walk back to my desk and act like nothing is happening. It’s a narrow stall; I can’t even spread my hands out fully in opposite directions, but somehow I like that. Every fifteen minutes or so, I get up, flush the toilet (to make it look like it was nothing but an exceptionally long call) and then reach for the door. The tears then make a re-appearance and I sit back down. It’s not smelly thank God, and the white wall tiles are surprisingly well kept. A one Gerald stuck a note on the inside of the toilet door basically threatening us into remembering bathroom etiquette; “If yo…

Coming Full Circle

It’s been an action-packed few weeks, and by action packed, I don’t mean the physical action. I mean so much happening all at once. Some things were good, some not so good and naturally with that came a roller-coaster of emotions.However, one emotion now overrides all the others I’ve been dealing with; Thankfulness.
I could write a hundred books on all that I’ve learnt in just the past month. I could tell you how I’m learning about what’s most important in life. I could tell you about all the people that will disappoint you no matter how close they are to you. I could tell you everything that has gone left instead of going right. But I’ll also tell you that for each thing that went left, five others have gone right. For every person that disappointed, three others have stepped up to the plate. For every gap that was left, it was filled to overflow, and for the places where the coin showed tails, it was completely flipped to show heads.
I’ve never claimed to be a saint, (#girlwithap…

Soundtracks to the movie about my life

The people who get to make a movie on my life will be lucky bastards, if I do say so myself. It will definitely be a full color picture in HD that will break box office records and win some Oscars! It will give such an adrenaline rush and have people gripping the edges of their seats and re-thinking the way they are living; ‘filimu yamasasi’ basically! But the best part of that movie will be the soundtracks!
1.Knowing you Jesus - Graham Kendrick I have been back and front, had some experiences that I thought were life changing. I have met some pretty incredible people and ticked impressive boxes on my ‘To-do list’, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING could ever compare to knowing Jesus the way that I have gotten to and continue to do. Everything that I am, every good thing that you think you may see in me, everything that I will ever be, will be because of God in my life. If this soundtrack is left out of the movie of my life, then it’s a lie.
2.I lived - One republic Everything I’ve done…