We all have that one life-defining moment that is supposed to make you who you are, determine what kind of person you will become and the kind of life you will lead. I have been waiting for that moment for a long time. And each time something happened and I thought the moment had finally come , I would later realize that it wasn’t the one, and the same thing would happen with the next one and the next, and the next.
It’s just now that I realize that the moment passed a long time ago for me, around twelve years ago to be precise. Sadly, it was not a positive moment I’m afraid, and it left me with my guard constantly up, and I never realized till recently that it was something I had to recover from. But here’s the thing, I realized that it was there. I realized that it was negative, and I realized that it had affected me.
But I’m healing. And working on myself daily, and sometimes I’m really impressed by how far I have come since the realization. Maybe its just growing up, you just become somehow more accepting of yourself and more realistic the more you mature, yes, it’s possible, but I believe it’s more than that. It’s the smaller moments that have come my way that continue to sand paper away all the sharp corners that the bigger moment left behind. And I have learnt to find my joy in those smaller moments, be it laughing a little louder than I used to, crying over an ex that I’m not over, lunch with the fam, playing in the rain…I may never get my big moment ever again, but I know that it’s the smaller moments that have made me who I am today, and they are the ones that will continue to shape me till the day that I die.