Saturday, 27 December 2014


It was all because we had moved once again, my family and me. After some significant ups and downs, with more downs if we are being completely honest, we finally settled in an amazing place where we could all be together at peace. While looking for a place to eat one day, a friend of mine suggested a recently opened restaurant called Raves that was about a five minutes drive from my house.

I was not disappointed at all. Not only was it very very close to my house, it was just my kind of place. Warm and homely, with dimmed yellow lights, soft music, great location, not too many of the people I know and it had really good food. I didn't know it then when my friend suggested that I try the mocca milkshake that a tradition had just started.  Not only did Raves become my go to place, the mocca milk shake became my drink.

Before long, I was having all my first dates with the various pursuers at Raves. Then, all the waiters were asking if I wanted ‘the usual’, and if I wanted to sit at my spot… it was great! I loved everything about being there, what was happening at that particular time and what could possibly happen after that. All through late 2013 and early 2014, I knew I had found my niche. But then the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months and now here we are at the end of the year, just right after Christmas and I’m hurriedly driving by the Raves neighborhood on my way to some other place. I look up just in time to see it; my Raves.

The parking spot where I had been picked up and dropped various times, the seat in the right corner of the balcony, the soft music barely heard from the road, soft yellow glow coming out of the main area and the delicious aroma I knew wasn't deceitful at all. What had happened? Why did I throw Raves out of my life completely when every fiber in me just wanted to go in right now? Had I found what I was looking for whenever I went there back in the day? Surely I hadn't changed so much that places like the Raves were no longer my cup of tea… Had I gotten too caught up with the roller-coaster of my life that was 2014 that I didn't even have time to do the things that made me who I am? 

Had I outgrown Raves?

As I resumed my drive to this new more important place, I thought about all these things. I wondered if I would come back to Raves as often as I used to. I thought about what the place had represented in my life, the phase that I was in at that time. I thought about how I had felt whenever I was there. I thought about if I wanted to feel that feeling again. I thought about how much potential I had seen in Raves; it was supposed to be the place that us friends would call our spot till we were old and gray, it was to be the place I would go with my future husband and father of all my children for our first date, and where I came to get away from it all, or get drunk with my girlfriends on a wild Friday night out. It was to be the place I would come to when I needed to get some work done, or needed to grab a quick dinner to take home. Memories were supposed to be made at Raves.

As I reached my destination, I knew for certain that the answer was yes. I might be at a different place than I was then, but it’s still me underneath it all. The same old dreamer with the same old hopes and dreams… Raves was definitely coming with me to the year 2015.

Thursday, 13 November 2014


How long until that thing that looks shiny from afar becomes a dull dump pile of clay in your hands? Once, when you didn't have it yet,it was all you could think about. Day and night, you plotted and planned how to acquire this very valuable piece. You jumped through hoops and bent over backward for just a chance to bask in its glory.

Then, on that fateful day, the stars smiled down upon you. Finally,it was yours...

Yes, it was all bliss at first. all your hopes and dreams had come true. it was everything you had ever thought it was and so much more, and this was the best time of your life.

And then not so much anymore. Suddenly,you noticed the leaks and cracks. You noticed that the surface wasn't as smooth and as even as you thought it was. The colors weren't as bright and glittery as they seemed before and the hinges were rusty and creaky.

I guess the question is; how long does it take for the shiny and smooth to become cracked and dirty?Will you still want it after you know its not as perfect as you thought it was?

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Three signs you are indeed worried

First off, let me start by saying I’m not a worrier. It’s my best and worst trait. Not worrying means I keep a straight face when the traffic officers stop us for overtaking and I don’t have my license with me, but then it also means I kept that same straight face when I came home with an E on my report card for chemistry. Needless to say, my “lack of concern” was not taken kindly by my parents. It also helps that the Bible has 365 “worry not’s” altogether, one for each day.

So when I googled ‘causes of insomnia’, I was quite perturbed when each of the 376,590 results showed worry as one of the causes. Then came the self assessment, trying to see if indeed there were things in my life that people in general tend to worry about and the answer was a big fat no; my life is great and I have many many blessings to be thankful for. It took me a while to realize that the sneaky bastard had indeed found a crevice to crawl through into my life and once inside, went on to get comfortable and fatten, all without my realization.
Here’s how I know I’m worried even when I don’t think I’m worried;

All kind of comparison is unhealthy, especially the one where you compare your achievements so far to those of your peers. Why is she driving a Mercedes when she is four years younger than me? Why is she getting awards for most talented yet I’ve been working for more years? What does this mean for me? Am I lagging behind? Am I unserious? Is there something I’m not doing right, or not doing at all? Should I resort to her methods of getting things done even though I don’t believe I should? If you have asked yourself any of these questions a good number of times over a short period of time, then there is some worry you have to deal with.

Living in the past and the future

I usually find myself trying to place myself in a situation I was in in the past, especially if it was one of significance or of happiness. I try to remember and feel how I felt then, what I was seeing, the expressions on people’s faces, the weather, the noise, everything. Just imagine time travel, or teleporting to a particular date and time and place and reliving the moments. I also do that for the future. If I had this, or if I finally got that, how would I feel…I then proceed with the time travel once again. It’s a habit I’m trying to stop. It’s also a sign that I’m worried about some aspects of the present, whether you know it or not.

Random and extreme changes in appetite

No, it’s not the way the food smells or looks. It’s not because you’ve been trying to lose weight and oh, it’s a miracle!! It’s worry. One moment you just can’t eat enough, and the next you’re wondering why people even need food at all, ’I mean, what’s the fuss about?’ If these changes are sporadic and not evenly spread out recently in your life, chances are something is worrying you, and you just don’t know it yet.

Sunday, 7 September 2014


'Its funny how we always know its all in our heads and have to work our minds out of it. . .'

I guess I just wanted to be perfect.

I wanted to be the perfect person, the perfect friend, perfect sister, daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother, and most recently perfect aunt.
Whenever people said that it's too hard, that it's almost impossible to balance this with that and still have time for the other, I thought they just weren't trying hard enough. I would be the one that went the extra mile. I would put more effort until I got there. No matter what. I would do it.

Things don't always go the way we plan.

Case in point; Wednesday of the week that's just ended; I decided to take my nephews and niece for a movie. It would be fun, we would laugh and eat popcorn and high five each other and I'd be the best aunt ever. The perfect aunt. In  preparation to be the perfect mother. I had it all planned out, every little detail, from the movie to the food to the games we would play. Every thing would be perfect because I go the extra mile and put in extra effort and I'm striving for perfection.

It didn't work out is the understatement of the year. I got to the house and there were five children instead of three (it's holiday time and kids like to visit their cousins) and I obviously couldn't leave the two behind... In hindsight, I should have realised at that moment that NOTHING would go as planned.  But once again I thought just a little more effort and it'll all fall in place.

We arrived when the movie was halfway done, popcorn was spilled in the commotion, I knocked a wall(and I mean that literally), the food wasn't enough, it rained, the children were out of control... I failed. I wasn't super woman. No one would ask me how I did it, or if they did I wouldn't have a great honest answer.  But how could I?  I'd gone the extra mile in everything. I'd worked extra hard. 

It's not always in your hands. Maybe because of all that fate stuff or maybe because nothing is constant apart from change, I don't know. Here's what I know now; effort might not always be everything if it's not well placed. You've got to invest your effort wisely or else you're in for some shock.

Sunday, 3 August 2014


I have two terrible habits, and each one compliments the other and magnifies it.

The first one involves giving up on people too easily. When someone, especially someone I consider a friend does something insensitive, cruel or downright evil, at the back of my head something snaps and that person’s name is immediately transferred to the black book in my mind. Now I know what you’re thinking; everybody makes mistakes once in a while, and I know that too! I just can’t help myself. 

Maybe I should explain that the black book doesn't necessarily mean that I spit whenever I see you… it just means that from now on, I have to watch what I say or do around you very closely, which might as well be the end of our friendship because once I have to watch what I say and do around you, I’m not going to see the point in hanging around you anymore because i) I can’t be bothered. Ii) I don’t have that energy and iii) I’m all about genuine. So all in all, in the long run, I will still have given up on you. I may or may not tell you but I’ll know it.

Sometimes, on a given Sunday afternoon, when life is dull and my phone isn't buzzing and all my in-competences are swirling through my head constantly, so many questions and I need answers, I may decide to pick up my phone and call up an individual who is in the black book. This is the second bad habit and it spills over into almost all areas of my life; I don’t stick to my decisions long enough to notice a difference mostly because i) I can’t be bothered, ii) I don’t have the energy and iii) I’m all about genuine and at that moment in time, I genuinely want to talk to said individual. I will rationalize and defend and justify my actions at that moment because it’s convenient there and then. When the moment of crisis has passed, we will start the vicious cycle once again.

No, I’m not a terrible uptight judgmental person. I’m just learning how to effectively deal with the curve balls that life throws at me, especially at an escalating rate the older you grow. Here’s what I have learned from my two bad habits so far;

1)      Take your time: don’t be quick to judge and rule out some things and some people. Make decisions slowly, after you have thought them through and have given them enough time.

2)      Stick to your guns: once you have made this carefully-thought-out and wise decision, stick with it. No matter how hard or tiresome or inconvenient it becomes, your word is your honor. If you said you would do it, then do it.

Yup. That’s it.

Friday, 30 May 2014

When I say I'm a Christian...

Got this foward today and it spoke to me so much, I thought I'd share it...

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean living."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Saturday afternoon... Sunday evening...

I miss those Saturday afternoons where you combed your hair, dressed your best and your parents took you with them to a wedding
Those Sunday evenings where immediately after church, you drove to your aunt's place to visit and play with your cousins.

I miss those Saturday afternoons where you stayed in the dormitory sleeping or went boys end just do to nothing.
Those Sunday evenings where you reacted spaghetti in percolator and shared with all your classmates or went for 'entertainment' just to see your crush and hope he says hi to you

I miss those Saturday afternoons where you closed shop at 4pm instead of 6 pm to meet your friends at Nandos and prayed your boss wouldn't choose that day to pass by.
Those Sunday evenings where you got home and went straight to your room praying your parents wouldn't notice how late it is.

I miss those Saturday afternoons where you woke up at 2pm after a wild Friday night just to shower, eat and then head back to sleep.
Those Sunday evenings where Katy Perry's 'I kissed a girl' played on the radio and you sat with your girlfriend and talked about boys.

I miss those Saturday afternoons where we all drove up the hill and jumped into the water and swam till our hair broke.
Those Sunday evenings where you stayed indoors and watched series and ate cereal and white wine.

I miss those Saturdays when I played hide and seek with Ethel and Mwine and Tsiima cried because we found him first
Those Sunday evenings where we were the last to leave church and Aby was always trying to convince me to sleep over.

I'll miss these Saturday afternoons where Colin and I go to watch a rugby game and my team beats his while he makes jokes..
These Sunday afternoons where Jackie from school invites me for her children's birthday party and I forget the gift...

Oh how time flies...

Saturday, 10 May 2014

The leopard and it's spots.

It's hard to believe that people do change, especially after you give someone a second chance and they go right ahead and do the same thing all over again. 'A leopard never changes it's spots' is a saying I'm sure we are all familiar with. But what really are these 'spots'?

As a person who has gone through a remarkable change, and is probably still changing, and will probably continue to gradually change till I die, I should probably state that I absolutely believe in the leopard changing it's spots. It's been said that we all have an evil side, and when pushed to the limit in given situations, even Saints would react in a way that would shock even the most shameless sinner.

What is change really if not focusing and building on the traits you want to develop and continually saying no to the ones you want to do away with? We all have it in us; the potential to be very good and also very bad, it's just a matter of the stimulus.

So if someone has been on the straight and narrow for a good while, trying to change and become a better version of themselves, don't count them off. These things take time.  Just because their evil side hasn't reared it's ugly head in a while, doesn't mean it died a natural quick death. And just because they slip and unfortunately fall back into an old bad habit one given Saturday, doesn't mean that nothing at all has changed.

It's all about perspective.  What you get is what you see.

Tuesday, 8 April 2014


The topic of aliens and what they could signify for us as Christians is tricky for me because I am neither an expert on Extraterrestrial beings, nor on Christianity. When I embarked on my mission to become a serious and devoted Christian, I never thought there would be so many obstacles. It looks like every single tiny thing either confirms or disproves it; from the color of the sky on a Sunday to the fact that a Bible actually caught fire in a school dormitory somewhere.

As you will read in the links below,everyone has found a way to interpret the Bible and its verses to support whatever views the have about Extraterrestrial Entities(ET-E's), and trust me, the views are not lacking in quantity or diversity.

Here's what i think; God created everything.I believe in God. And I believe in Jesus. I believe He died to take my sins away and through Him I can get to the Father and to Heaven. Do I have my very own questions about all this? Yes,I do. Does the fact that some of those theories that sound air-tight would somehow dispute the whole theory of Salvation move me to doubt even for a second everything that Jesus represents to me,not in a million years. In fact the moment something controversial so much as implies anything in disagreement with the Bible, I quickly run as far as possible in the opposite direction. Maybe they do exist, maybe they don't, the Lord  will clarify about all that when He returns.

In the mean time,I shall continue to try my best to serve Him faithfully and diligently till then.'s.htm,d.dmQ

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Pick your battles; prioritize!

Nothing ever just happens. If you want it, you have to be deliberate about getting it. I’m not saying that there’s no such thing as fate, or destiny, but I do know that all of us have a part to play. And seeing as what we do contributes a lot to what path our lives take, it’s very important on what we focus our energies. There’s a Chinese saying that ‘A single grain of rice can tip the scales.’ Investing a little more effort can go a long way.

 Life is unpredictable; it can change from black to white and vice versa in a split second…so while it is true that we cannot really control what is thrown at us, we should also never forget that there is so much more to this than meets the eye, and we shouldn’t allow the trivial things in life to completely consume us.

There’s a European film festival currently taking place in Kampala, and I got to watch a feature film called ‘Looking for Sugar-man that was about the search for a one Rodriguez, a writer/singer from the early seventies that was a major flop in the U.S and yet a sold-out artist in Cape Town, South Africa; To quote one headline ‘American zero, South African hero’. While his career dwindled to nothingness in Detroit, Michigan after two unsuccessful albums and forced him to return to his work as a worker at construction sites, there was an on-going search for him in Cape Town that lasted three years before he was tracked down at work, flown over with his whole family seven times over the years to over twenty sold-out concerts all over South Africa.

I wonder if Rodriguez knew, when the South African music-store owner finally traced his number and called him that his life would be completely changed in the next seconds. I wonder if he would have been tracked down had he capitalized on his failed career in America. Would he even still be alive, or would he, like so many other artists and as so many rumors had it, have overdosed in some hotel room or been found dead in some dark alley somewhere?

Isn’t it funny how a problem that seems completely catastrophic to us, consumes all our thoughts, steals all our peace, kills our appetite and makes us rethink our whole life can sometimes turn out to be one that a million other people have been through without butting an eyelash? Have you ever thought about something and it appears to make sense in your mind only to find that when you do say it out loud, it sounds completely ridiculous? And the truth of the matter is you can’t cling to the past. No matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone.

We have all heard about the tree-forest thesis. It really is never that serious! So while whatever worth having is worth fighting for, it is important that we carefully pick our battles. Not everything requires a fight, not everything requires you to fight. Some things you just walk away from and allow to be.

Otherwise, if we keep investing all our resources in every little bump that comes our way, we will not have enough left over to use when the really important stuff shows up.

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Closure: Why you need it…or not.

‘You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened…or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.’ - Tupac Shakur.

‘Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you have control over is yourself.’ - Deborah Rider.

‘I’m done with those. Regrets are for people who have failed.’ -Ned Vizzini 

‘It’s good to leave doors closed. Otherwise you will be tempted to go back and go through them again.’ -Joshua.J.O 

‘Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.’ -Antoine De Saint-Exupery

‘When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean.’ -Lin Chi

‘We are what we repeatedly do; excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.’ -Aristotle

‘What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do.’ -John Ruskin

‘Even if you’re on the right track, you get run over if you just sit there.’ -Will Rogers.

‘Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you might be missing out on the joke of the century.’ -Dame Edna Everage

‘For truly I say unto you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot will pass from the law until it is accomplished.’ -Matthew 5:18

And my favorite;
‘Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third, to figure out whether you like it or not.’ -Virgil Garnett Thomson

I find that if you are not getting the closure you feel you require, and cannot give it to yourself, then it’s probably not as necessary as you think it is.

Friday, 10 January 2014

The CES that was...

While I’d like to say that I equally appreciate the Arts, to be honest I actually think of myself more as an artist than a scientist, I am not one to pass up an opportunity to appreciate the diversity and milestones reached by raw science. I’ve always believed you can’t really have one without the other, but what do I know… With that said, I bring you the highlights of the Consumer Electronics Show that was held yesterday in Las Vegas. While I wasn’t there in person (not like its open to the general public, even if it was, I highly doubt I’d make it), I strongly emphasize that I was there in spiritJ.

For those of you that have already heard about the CES, you’re welcome. And for those who are hearing about it for the first time, it’s basically an event that showcases the latest improvements and inventions of household electronics. it’s held annually in Las Vegas between the 7th and 10th of January with an attendance that usually goes up to 150,000 people, in spite of the fact that it’s not open to the public. It’s been around for about 50 years now, and though mostly attended by the likes of Bill Gates, Bob Galvin, John Chambers, Michael Dell  and Olli-Pekka Kallasvuo, every once in a while you will also find the likes of Jay-z, Barrack Obama, Steven Spielberg and other celebrities from completely unrelated areas in life. So, yes my dear, before your beloved plasma/ PVR-DVD-VCR-DAR/Xbox/HTC Thunderbolt/GalaxyS2 was ever on the market, this is where it was first unveiled to the public.

It’s quite exciting when you think about it, how far the boundaries of house-hold technology are being pushed and how much science advances annually. When you analyze the direction which most electronics are tending towards, it hits you that the recent sci-fi movies and all their wild concepts, the likes of Elysium and After Earth and Gravity and Pacific Rim, are not as far-fetched as you might think… Scary, huh? Also, you realize that Asians are going to take over the world, eventually….

This year’s CES high lights included the first Li-Fi Smartphone that uses the sun’s waves for energy or something like that such that you barely have to use your battery. There was also the 77-inch Ultra HD telly from OLED and two curved tellys from Samsung. Audi unveiled its laser diodes that are apparently going to be used for the vehicles high-beam headlight. My personal favorites included the refrigerator that had cameras on the inside which you could somehow correlate with your mobile device, so that if you are shopping and aren’t sure if you’ve got enough tomatoes at home, all you gotta do is check your phone. There was also the rice cooker that you could activate on your way home, so that by the time you are there, your meal is ready for consumptions; so smile ladies, we weren’t left out…

Here are a few more gadgets from the 2014 CES.

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Normal is overrated :)

'The people that are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.' - Steve Jobs.

I'm a black woman. Now I can say it with pride,but back then being black and being a woman are two of the worst things that could ever happen to you... Even though right now,stereotyping is generally discouraged,the number of people who sincerely believe that there are chances of a black woman doing something great or memorable would still be given a painfully low percentage. Not just that,but there is still an unspoken yet wide spread and accepted path of life that all women around the world,not just the black ones,are expected to follow ; Be a good girl,excel in school,graduate,get married,have babies,be a happy home maker,wait for your death.


While Im not opposed to any of the above achievements,I also believe that it should be by choice and not obligation. Why do we still passively but aggressively crucify those that choose another path? A person should be able to choose to go left when everyone they know went right,and not be ridiculed for it,or whispered about,or thought of as a lesser being who just needs to be fixed. Life is a really short journey,and it buffles me to see people becoming more cowardly and more predictable. While I know and strongly agree with the Bible when it says that women were made to be helpers,and that we should be submissive to the men,there is no where it says this should be your only goal in life. My opinion is that if you are capable of doing more,and want to do more,then go ahead and do it.

Just because something has been done the same way for millenia,doesn't mean its illegal to do it different. Change is still the only constant. So,regardless of your gender and skin tone,you can either join me on the mental and hopefully physical journey of discovering new things,pushing the boundaries, beating the odds,thinking outside the box(and I mean waaaaay outside),making history,changing the world,being great,standing out and being different,kicking major arse,travelling the world,being a part of God's miracles,touching lives...or you could stay and live a normal life.

Choice is yours.