Wolf and lamb in the same skin
My protector and my murderer are one and the same
Love and anger wrestle in the same dark small cubicle
Pain; the feeling of having your skin peeled off as you watch
Of someone taking your four fingers, pulling each two apart in opposite directions until the skin rips
Until there's blood everywhere and the smell of putrid raw flesh fills the room
My healing lies within my suffering
You should have known. You should have intuition about these things; how couldn't you tell?
If we are joined at the hip, aren't we joined at heart as well?
Isn't my sin your sin? Don't you hear the words in these tears falling down my eyes?

I need for you to fix it, to nudge me forward and take me back to the beginning
Where it all started, and where it ended
To stay by my side and leave me alone
Reverse time; make it so none of it ever happened, so we still have that picture perfect I saw the first time I looked in your eyes
Take me back to innocence, where I could look the world dead in the eyes, a stare-down where only I could have won
My savior and condemner wear a shared face
If you weren't here, would I have felt all this pleasure? Would I have felt all this pain?
My fate is sealed; I must carry the heavy shadows on my bent back down this dark narrow winding path
I must wade through the muddy knee-high waters underneath the bridge I once rode on, the stone bridge I paved myself with bruised hands to keep me from drowning
My darkness is my light.
Will you relieve me, my captor and my hero?


  1. Oh my gosh i am now crying over my morning cup of coffee. The lost innocence of first love? Am i right? Such a beautiful poem Kullein. I pray for the poet's healing.


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