memoirs of a kangaroo in the sun.

It’s been said tell me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are. I have come to the conclusion that this statement not only refers to your friends, but your boyfriends, colleagues, happy hour buddies, the discussion group you choose to have. The ‘what’s-app’ groups you join/create the church you decide to go to etc... There’s something about your choice that reflects a certain aspect of your personality. This brings me to another kind of similar point. You know those friends that you were once really close to but now aren’t anymore? You don’t like what they have become, you can’t believe some of the things they do these days, and how they act, or the choices they’ve made, or for some reason or the other, they just aren’t on your list of priorities anymore? When you do get to meet, the conversation that used to go on forever is summed up in all of two minutes…yeah we all have those… The truth is, we all change. Change is the only constant in this world. As we grow older, na...

“Being successful is basically two steps. 1. Figure out what you want. 2.   Go after it with all you’ve got.   I find that step one is always the harder one.”- Anonymous. I’m a victim of this quote. One of those “can’t really describe it but I’ll know it when I see it” people. I get bored really quick, and if something comes too easy, then I almost always lose interest. A friend and I once joked about it, saying maybe we have some testosterone. Now it’s not too funny anymore, in fact it’s a bit scary and time is fast spent. It’s a Christian principle to finish what you started and fight as much as I can, I still can’t shake this part of who I am. I’m going on a quest to find out if there are people out there that are like me, and if so, what have they done to solve this. Hopefully this journey will end with some answers/solutions. Because if not, then I just might end up a ‘lonely old woman with only her cats for company’.

PS; this post is going to sound a bit like a sermon J . At the beginning of this year when I decided to live for Christ, the plan was basically to do it for a year and then get back to being good old me. Turns out the joke was on me. Because, it also turns, out the old Kullein is dead and gone. Let me explain… I wanted to do it not really for me, but for both of us, for both me and God. I thought, live right for a few months, touch a few lives, get them to salvation and then before you know it, the months will be long gone and then you can go back to who you were. Everyone’s happy. The truth is, it was more for my own good. God doesn’t really need me, somewhere in the Bible it says, and I’m paraphrasing, if God wanted, He could get the rocks to do His work for Him. Yes He will let me if I want to, but He would never make me. I also realized that it’s not all about me. It, all this, this whole mess called life, it is indeed all about Jesus. Nothing else. I can never be ...

Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I got to gently lay my hand on the tummy of a pregnant lady and feel her baby move… It was such a profound moment, knowing that there was a life in there, waiting to be brought into this world, shaped and molded and made into just about anything... You would probably think it’s because I haven’t had children of my own that I am still so deeply moved by this small event, but it’s for this same reason that my awe should be not taken lightly. Because sometimes after you have had a few children of your own, and have been worn out by the never-ending duties that come with motherhood, you forget to fully appreciate what it is that really happened. You need someone to take you back to those days way back, when you didn’t take it for granted… As a woman, you have been blessed with the huge responsibility of bringing a life into this world; A LIFE! The one thing that all the geniuses and professors of science in all its advancement have still...

I looked up a solution to excess feelings just the other day. I thought, ‘If we can clone a human being, surely, we can suppress a few out-of-balance hormones in the body, heck, we can eliminate them completely if we decided’… I suffer from a condition called Care-too-much/Trust-too-much/Love-too-much-iasis. It’s a condition where you don’t know how to do things half-heartedly. When you are in, you are all in. Apparently, you can’t survive in the world today if you suffer from this condition. You need to know how to sit on some of these feelings or else your little arse will be dragged in the mud from here to Kingdom come… At first I didn’t believe it, but in just the last two months, I’ve seen Angels turn to red horned devils, outright malice from those you thought were your people, those who promised to always be there for you leave for good, and altogether more tears than I saw in the whole of last year combined. Now, usually I’m a happy-go-lucky optimistic person, but even...

Having quit my job recently, I have been determined to use the time between then and my next one to enjoy life as much as possible. I have been to every single event/occasion that you can think of; from weddings upcountry to weekend getaways, to private Art exhibitions and Church lock-ins, Charity, business workshops, work outs, cook-outs, dinners, luncheons, shows, you name it. Plus, for some reason I have also taken it upon myself to be in charge of all that I can be in charge of. I was asked to organize a small day-out for some friends, which responsibility I gladly accepted. And when one of my friends wanted to plan a surprise party, I offered to do that too. Then came the one with an upcoming baby shower, and once again there I was. Now, if you have actually organized an event before then you know that it’s usually hundreds of times more taxing that you think it is, even if it’s just getting three children together to watch a movie. But here I was taking on all of this, sti...

July 22. 14.40hrs. Nine little words. How could they cause so much pain! My whole body freezes over and i cant feel my legs.I wonder if im floating...Is this what they mean by being in shock...I cant move and something at the  back of my mind has to remind me to breath. Thank goodness we have no control over the beating of our heart!Its not sinking in yet,the loss that ccomes with those few words...The finality.And the pain... Gut-wrenching pain that starts from somewhere inside my chest and spreads to the rest of my body.I double over. I must sit,i must find somewhere to sit or sleep.For just a minute,only till i catch my breathe. But EVERYTHING has changed,in just that one moment...Aaah,a bed.Yes,i see a bed.Ill lie down for one minute...But my eyelids are frozen too.Then comes the tears,so many of them. Didnt think i had such a bountiful reserve in me,one thats so easily accesible at that...but quiet  tears turn into angry sobs that shake the whole body and leave...