memoirs of a kangaroo in the sun.

Today a friend asked me, ‘why can’t people just be genuine?’ and I wanted to weep because I have been asking myself the same question since time in memorial. Wouldn’t it be easier and less taxing emotionally to mean what you say and say what you mean? What about that friendship, why can’t you as my best friend be genuinely happy when I buy my car or when I find an amazing man? And that relationship, why do we always have to play games, see who breaks fast. Why must I first torment you psychologically to see how far I can go with it? Why can’t we have those that we want in our lives and leave those that we feel make us unhappy out of it? Why do people go to unnecessary lengths to please people that they don’t genuinely like just so they can go discuss and plot their downfall with someone else? Would it hurt if you made a decision today that so and so is going to be my friend for ever because of this and that, and I will genuinely love them, and be loyal and honest whenever and wherev...

My heart is so heavy. I want to write about so many things. I want to write about how days can run by so fast and turn into weeks, months and before you know it, a year has gone by and there is still not much to show for it. I want to write about how it’s never as easy to walk away from your past as what they make it seem, and that even when you think you are finally free of it, you are shocked to find that the day you mistakenly bump into each other, all the emotions you thought were long gone come flooding right back in. I would also want to write about the uncertainty of life. Nothing is guaranteed and nothing is permanent. Even those things or people you thought would stand by you and you by them till the end of time change and become your biggest enemies. I would like to write about following your own path. How you are in this world in your own, you need to lead your own life, and do what makes you happy because at the end of the day, you cannot lie to yourself for to...

So many have come and gone. So many friends, boyfriends, roommates, housemates, celebrities, partners, bff’s, favorites, hangouts have changed, and trends have evolved. Interests have matured and loyalties have been lost. Desires have been gotten and dreams realized. Only to move on to the next.ad then the next. And the next. The only thing that can tell you that this is the real deal, the true one, is the one that stays. The friend that stays, or that friendship that stands the test of time. That better half that sticks by you through it all, to the very end… The only one certain test of trueness, in everything, is time.

I feel so good. Really really good. I haven’t been feeling good for a while now, not really, not sincerely. It could be because of the amazing service I just attended at my church and the point-on sermon given by the reverend. It could also be because I went for the service with my closest friends and had a good time catching up over delicious ice-cream afterwards. It could be because I am at peace with everyone in my family. It could also be because I’m relating with someone that is amazing. But a large part of me believes that I feel really good because for the first time in a while, I KNOW everything is going to be ok. Scratch that, everything is going to be great !