What now...

Most people think that the part of losing someone that hurts the most is that moment they take their last breath or the time when the coffin disappears into the ground.  Well,most people are wrong in that regard. Somehow the hustle and bustle and endless planning and organising distracts you from the realness of it all;it keeps you just alittle busy and occupied enough to not think about it all too much. That time passes by faster than you'd imagine and it feels like you're moving in slow motion while the world is in fast forward...

Its the time when all is said and done that the roles are reversed;this is the part that hurts the most,more than you ever thought possible. That time when everyone goes back to their homes and things go back to their usual pace and life starts to go on and you're expected to adjust;that time sucks big ones! You're thinking,'ok,what now? What comes next?' How are you supposed to do that,to act normal? How are you supposed to act like there's nothing missing and yet you know for a fact something is not there now that was there before? Picture this;there was a huge tree that you used to shade yourself from the midday sun everyday on your way back from the well. After some time,it became more than just a tree to you,it became a place you got together to reunite and share secrets and receive sound advice with the other village girls. It became special to all of you.

Suddenly it was taken out by the roots. A fuss was made for a bit and the village members sympathised for a while with you. Then each one slowly returned to their many responsibilities and concerns. And you were left to still pass by that place where once your tree stood tall,and is now nothing but a huge ragged  hole in the earth to show where the roots burrowed into the earth. You are still expected to go to the well by the same route,you're also expected to sit in the same place and continue with all the activities that you used to carry out under your tree,you're expected to act like this is all part of life and you accept it,you're expected to be strong and keep going on like everything is normal,still the way it was and there isn't a special tree that's gone!

That,my friends is the hardest part. Watching the sun continue to rise and set and the world go on with life as usual,as though your whole universe didn't just get shattered and turned upside down can drain even the strongest of us.So while everyone is grateful for all the support during the peak of the storm,more priceless than anything is the moral support that continues to be given at the end of the day when everyone is gone. Will you be the one that comes back to give it? I hope I will.


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