Oh be careful little eyes

I try to steer clear of writing about trending topics.  Actually not try to, I usually run as far away as I can from any current debates. This is because I’m never on one side long before I learn something new and then switch to the other side. Also because there will always be a smart ass (or two) that has done much more research than you have and is not shy about dragging your meager facts in the dust. Then there’s always the activist demanding to know why you are hiding behind the computer instead of going out into the streets to do something about it.

However…

A recent trending topic has caught my attention.

#MenAreTrash

Probably not in the way you’re thinking. Apparently, this is a movement that started in South Africa to raise awareness about the violence (physical, emotional, psychological etc) suffered by women at the hands of men. Over the past week in Twitterville Uganda, we have seen this hash-tag generate a good amount of support and an opposing side rise up to defend these men, under various hash-tags but basically stating that not all men are trash. Mothers defending sons, wives defending husbands and even men defending themselves. I took a few minutes to read through some of the tweets that have been posted and a strange thing started to happen.

Although I started out with a pretty much neutral mindset, the more I read angry tweet after angry tweet, the more I begun to feel a certain rage rising up in me. Mind you, this is not the kind of rage that manifests in clenched fists or faster breathing. Neither is it the kind of anger that makes you snap at the person next to you or throw glasses at a wall. This kind of rage is sneaky. It’s a seed that’s planted ever so silently and softly that if you are not keen, you would never know it was there. It’s the kind that takes it’s time to slowly suck nutrients from all the other parts of the body until it is nourished enough to germinate and take root. With every passing day, it grows stronger, and bolder and bigger until one day it demands to take control.

The human brain works in mysterious ways.

Suddenly, I was outlining every single mistake every man has ever made in life. As if we women are perfect. Suddenly everything that went wrong with the world was linked to a man in one way or the other. The more examples I read of how terrible men are, the more examples I found. And then it hit me; what you feed grows. In that moment, a nursery rhyme came to mind. We used to sing it in Sunday school but it never made sense then.

“Oh be careful little eyes what you see,

Oh be careful little eyes what you see

For the father up above is looking down in love

So be careful little eyes what you see.

Oh be careful little ears what you hear

Oh be careful little ears what you hear

For the father up above is looking down in love

So be careful little ears what you hear.

Oh be careful little tongue what you say

Oh be careful little tongue what you say

For the father up above is looking down in love

Oh be careful little tongue what you say.”

I used to think this rhyme was telling us to be careful because God is watching so any mistake you made would not only be recorded but avenged too. Now I realize what it actually meant was be careful what you allow in, through what you see, hear or what is said. It may look harmless at first, but there’s always something that’s planted that will grow for sure. It now made sense why we are always encouraged to focus on the positive. The human brain works in mysterious ways.  I’m not saying there aren’t abusive men in the world, and I’m not by any means justifying abuse of any kind. I'm also not saying we should stay quiet about abuse specifically suffered by women but I can say for a fact that in just those few minutes, these tweets had planted a seed of negativity and the more I read, the faster it grew. It wasn’t the constructive type of growth. It wasn’t the kind that made me want to go out and impact positive change. It was the kind that made me want to glare at any man that passed by. I knew I had to deal with it swiftly and decisively.

We live in a fallen world where no one is perfect. If there’s something you can bet on, it’s that someone will hurt you in one way or the other and this means that it’s easy to become bitter with or without negative messages plastered in front of you. While it may be hard to control what others, do, say or think, we at least still have the power to filter what we allow in.